Favourite warm puppies

Part 3 in a series

So, now that you have articulated your story and defined your vision, now what?  There are so many things standing in your way, right?

It’s true. There are things standing in your way and that is the purpose of step 3 in your personal strategy process, the obstacles conversation.

Obstacles stand in the way of achieving your vision.

Obstacles are concrete manifestations that stand in the way of achieving our vision. They are about behaviours, actions and attitudes that inhibit us. Importantly, they are NOT someone’s fault, there is no blame to be assigned.

Obstacles are often artifacts of previous decisions or events, which can block the changes that we might need to make. Obstacles are utterly fascinating because we have real relationships with them. They tend to be our favourite warm puppies that keep us ‘distracted and poor’, in the words of Jo Nelson, ICA Associates.

Let me give you an example. I worked for a large national telco in the 2000’s. In the western offices, we had a favourite warm puppy called THE EAST. We fed and nurtured that puppy and every chance we got, we showed off our puppy. A change in the expense policy, well THE EAST is clearly trying to make our lives difficult. We are the fourth stop on a national town hall tour, well what can you expect from THE EAST? The Christmas party was cancelled because THE EAST thought pot-lucks were fun… and on it went. We worked very hard at building up THE EAST’s capacity to stand in the way of … something, nay everything.

The process of honestly and deeply defining root issues holding our obstacles in place is where opportunity lies. This is the thing to resolve in order to unlock our vision.

Once we articulate an obstacle, it is much easier to figure out what to do.

Another example: an individual has made a decision to become an independent consultant with a vision of being a ‘go to’ expert. One of her favourite puppies is ‘I don’t like selling’. A deeper dig into the root issues identifies a fear of being rejected by putting herself ‘out there’ which ultimately inhibits her ability to find new business.

The value in being coldly honest and stating the obstacle for what it really is (a fear), is that the obstacle can become concrete and genuine strategies for overcoming the obstacle can be developed.

If the obstacle isn’t clearly articulated and clearly defined, any efforts to overcome the perceived obstacle will be misplaced. If the obstacle isn’t addressed, achieving the vision will be much more difficult.

The obstacles discussion is a powerful stage in personal planning as it highlights where your energy will need to go in order to move towards your vision.

Let’s get started on your obstacles discussion.

 

 

 

What do you want?

Part 2 in a series

… “and in this box, I’d like you to write out personal vision statement

Is there anything more daunting? The prospect of filling that blankness with something deep, insightful or inspirational is overwhelming. It is soooo hard. Why?

It’s hard because this just isn’t how the  the brain forms new insights and it’s not how a creative process works.

Step 2 in a personal strategy process is to identify your vision.

The process that I use for a personal vision workshop is not rocket science, but it is highly effective. It works because it approaches a ‘vision’ statement from the bottom up, from the assembly of many ideas. It doesn’t ask for the big idea first.

Examine your data divorced from assumption.

A brainstorm mines your thoughts, desires and emotions for data points. Once the data points are assembled, they are examined without assumptions and in the context of other ideas that are also divorced from their assumptions. The next step is to look for the patterns and the deeper insight that the data point towards.

Brain science tells us that we form new ideas and new patterns when our brains are relaxed and able to form new neural pathways and knit old information together in new ways. This is one of the reasons we have our best thoughts in the shower first thing in the morning or when we’re out walking the dog.

Personal vision workshops create the opportunity to examine our own data points in a different context, in a relaxed and uncomplicated setting where new connections free to form and new relationships between ideas can be explored.

Where’s the value in spending time on personal vision?

By defining a personal vision, you create a frame from which to explore opportunities, evaluate options, create focus, eliminate distractions, and importantly, devise strategies for change and motion. If you can decide on your big picture aspiration, it is far easier to make smaller choices.

In a personal vision process, what matters most to you, in your complete life, will emerge.

You will define the pillars of your vision and an overall vision statement. Your pillars will be a reflection of the elements of your life that are most important to you. Often they include family, career, friends, learning, wellness and recreation.

My clients tell me they emerge inspired, excited, positively motivated, curious but firmly comfortable with their insights and discoveries. This is a great place from which to approach new chapters in your life, job hunting, big decisions or business opportunities.

Let’s get started on your vision statement.

 

 

 

Discover your story

Part 1 in a series

I can honestly say that I have worked hard at not dwelling on past events. I tend to believe that forward motion is really the only option. In that vein, I don’t support wallowing, navel gazing or blaming others for the present. I’m not an overly sentimental person.

 Why do I advocate a backward look as a starting place for a personal strategy

Whether we like it or not, we humans are powerfully influenced by our past. We are products of our experiences and our experiences often create patterns. Our patterns are worth understanding.

Being ourselves is a dynamic process and the process of relating to ourselves creates new awareness. At the risk of being overly complex, the Self is a verb. Self is in a constant state of action.

I could throw in some sage quotes like “those who cannot remember the past are condemned to repeat it”, but the point I’m making is that we need to articulate our patterns, understand our crunch points in life, recognize our highs and lows and tell the unfolding story of ourselves.

“What I believe to be true; my subjective knowledge. It is this image that largely governs my behaviour

There’s another deeper layer to our story and that is the images that govern us. Image theory says that what we believe about ourselves translates into behaviours; our images are held in place by values. Values are often deeply, deeply held. Sometimes we don’t realize even realize they are in place and potentially in need of an adjustment.

As an example, I was working with a client who has a deeply held image that being a good Dad is being home in the evenings. As we discussed possibilities for achieving his vision, we realized that this firmly held value of a Dad might need a re-frame. Can a good Dad also be the one who is at home in the morning or during the day?

Articulating our own story illuminates us. 

Articulating our own story honours ourselves. It provides an opportunity to illuminate and accept our ourselves, warts and all. In the language of Brene Brownwe accept our imperfections as gifts. And, importantly, we are set up to define our future. If we can tell our story now, is it easier to say what we want, and why we want it?

Reflection leave us open to new insights.

Reflective process seems to be rare in our always on culture. There’s so much shiny and new, why spend time on the past? We have so much going on, why stop to look back?

I have learned that the process of reflecting on data, divorced from assumption and presumption leaves us open to new insights. It is those new insights that can powerfully impact our future directions.

I am not a coach or a counsellor. I am a facilitator with a process that is as powerful at the individual level as it is at the group level. Contact me and let’s discover your story.